Was in a good mood, but now I'm not

OK, so first, yesterday I was going to Molly's house for her birthday right, well we had to get the Forfar Bus, and I almost got past without being noticed by any of them but no, Chaz saw me, a great. Hmm... well the good thing was that they didn't come upstairs! And then Molly was just saying how annoying it is when "Someone is staring at you and you don't even realize it, just like the person behind us is doing right now" OK.... I didn't even know him, and that was just random, do people just listen to other people's random conversations I mean I do but only occasionally when I hear a really random thing you know when you walk past someone and you just catch a really random part of the conversation and why am I just blabbing. Anyway, so then at night we sent Jack a creppy sort of message. It said : As thunder cracks and lightning flashes two figures are standing outside your window. They giggle manically and one wields a coil of rope while the other revvs a chainsaw, both wearing hockey masks. It was funny =]. Then today we watched Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, it was good! Oh yeah, but first we went to see Molly's horses, I like horses from afar, but I'm actually quite scared of them, but now it's a bit better. See, I'd rather sit somehwere safe and draw them.
So blah blah, and now I still have to do extra work, seriously, don't you think I've already got work without all this extra my parents give me? Seriously. Well, very bored and off to read the news, then chinese and then play the piano, just great, lots of homework to do as well.
Ah hah! Just remembered something. These people on bebo started this thing, Get Mark out of Guidance, because Mark like always goes to Guidance for every tiny little thing. But the problem is, he went to Guidance for it lol. So now all these people are in huuuuge trouble, and some are getting suspended. And in it there's Jamie Clark and Mila, woohoo! Never mind that

Meh

Well today, my mum was still mad at me and wasn't talking to me, so I had to have lunch at school, sort of. And it was snowing today! OK then, in PE we were doing forward rolls and backwards rolls, I hate them! Backwards it scary. But I did it! And oh yeah, when we were on the bus, everyone was being too noisy, so they had to go downstairs, and they were in trouble. Only me, Erin, Emily, Ranjini and Alison got to stay up, 'cause we were good little girls =]. And when I was comming down, John said to me, "Hi Jenny! We're in trouble!" which is weird, because you wouldn't exactly be happy about getting into trouble, would you? Oh, and after PE I got 2 High Fives =]. One from Sadik and one from Ronan. Hm. And then, skipping all the other times because nothing interesting happened. OK, so in Techy, we were working on this thing, and well, I didn't get it, so I copied of John, again. =] He copies off Andrew Taylor so I know it would be right, and I went to talk to him several times. I don't know why, I was acting soo innocent sort of to him, like, I don't know, when I asked him what something said, because I wasn't sure about his writing, he said "Are you saying my writing is bad?" "No" I sort of squeaked, laughing. Oh great, and he lets me copy but doesn't let Araminta. Ah great, and I was singing the song 'You' by Amy Lee, I sort of know it off by heart, and why the heck does it sort of apply to John? Yes OK, I know I like him but I really don't think he fancies me, even thought certain people would say he does. It would be great if he did, but I doubt it. And then, after school when I saw him, I just wanted to talk to him! I'd say I liked him as well as Lewie, and now I don't know who to choose!
Well, skipping that, in Maths I almost killed Captain Obvious, threatened Jack Rogers and then attempted to kill Andrew Kelly because he was saying Michael fancies me. And I beat him in Maths! Yay! OK then, after Maths I saw Robert right, and this is not my brother we're talking about, and he started annoying me, so I wouldn't let go of his bag and he told me to let go. So I thought, if you say so, and did, and he fell back sooooo far, he didn't look happy.
Hm.... well now, I'm at home and my mum is angry with me again. No matter what I do I do something wrong. Just great.

Breathing, and now Killing

OK, first thing, in RE we have to do this research thing on a Religion and do a moral topic, and I haven't started it and I can't do it during class time because I feel so under pressure, great, crappy song just came into my head, don't ask which one, you should know anyway, so I like to do things in my own time, so I'll have to get down to it some time, it's for the 29th of March. I'm doing Zoroastrianism, I can finally spell that! But I still can't pronounce it. OK, and the moral topic is Animal Rights, took me forever to remember that that's what it's called, I'm such an idiot. Anyway, realized I'd forgotten my Art homework for the second time in a row, but the good thing is, the teacher never asked 'cause you didn't really have to have this, it was sort of just pictures, so I was safe. Yeah, and I ruined my painting of a butterfly, again! So then, before Biology I saw Lewie, and then in Biology I was scared to handle a thermometer with Mercury in it, 'cause I break so many things, and I lost my pencil, how I managed that I have no idea.
OK then, after school Molly somehow forgot ger PE bag, and went to Classics, but then it turned out to be in the Library, and this was all thanks to me =] I told her where it was, or should be. Well, I stayed outside for more than one reason =]. I saw Lewie. Anyway, then Molly almost missed her bus, God it was close.
Anyway then, I've found out that I've got my Piano Exam on the 23rd of March, the same as the Senior Music Competition, and then the next day is the Public Speaking thing. I'm doing it =] All the Glisters is not Gold, though now I'm confuzed.
Anyway, my mum is shouting at me because I was argueing my case, jeez, and she's not letting me go to Molly's Party, how great, and that was before she started screaming her head off at me.
Oh yeah, and I'm seriously being creeped out now. I know it's a joke but it's going on forever. Liam just said hi to me again and this time he waved when I was getting on my bus.... I'm freaking out now, really. Oh yeah, and that F3 said to me before Biology when he passed "Remember when you used to go out with Benny, did you love him?" No! Oh course not! I never even went out with him! Great.....

Yes, well...

OK, well today has been a good day, or a bad day, depends on which way you look at it. So, first of all, did you know I got a slinky =]? OK, not the point but anyway, I found out that there isn't a Season 3 of Young Dracula *growls* yes I've been doing that for some time, but it's not fair! It left it as such a big cliffhanger, I could go on for aaaages on how many things are left as a mystery. So, I've been imagining what could happen next and it's not that bad, well it sort of is, not likely to happen but never mind. So, people you better agree with me on this and not Molly, otherwise I will slit your throat =]. Think of aaaall the blood that will pour out, so, don't agree with Molly right, Molly you will never get all those people I've named to agree with you, never! Anyway, so at lunch-time, me and Molly just came out of the girl's toilets right, and Andrew (Taylor) and John were comming down the stairs there, John said hi and gave me a high-five, and now Molly won't stop going on about how John apparently has some 'special feelings' for me. Yeah right! Apparetly John behaves more, well I don't really know, towards me than other people, I mean seriously, how's she suppose to know? How? So I told her that if she gets Erin, Emily, Barabara, Catherine and Pallavi to agree with her, I will. Fingers crossed that will never happen, because John does not fancy me! I would know! Well actually, I wouldn't, but you get my point. Oh yeah, so Molly tried to get Wiggans to agree and grabbed onto him and wouldn't let him go, just making sure he agrees, and Callum (Strachan) was there and gave me a high-five because we're Biology Partners or whatever. Oh great, yeah, I'm just like this person who tells him what he's suppose to do when he doesn't listen in class! Anyway, Molly is Wiggans Science Partner and he said "Yes, and she's got me by the throat" lol, that was his wrist! Idiot, worse at Biology than me or Molly, who thought her ankle was her wrist and according to me my chest is all the way above my head, lol. So then, blah blah blah, and she had to go tell Murray that on Friday I will be on their bus, aaaahhhh!!!! I will die, I thought it was bad enough that I saw them everyday when I'm talking to Molly outside their bus. No, not freaking, I ain't freaking!
Anyway, so told Emily not to agree with Molly no-matter what she asks, and Emily asked what it was, and I told her, and she's saying that John flirts with me. Yes, not helping here Emily! So I wouldn't let her go up to English and just said, "What did you say, what?" And then she suddenly went, "I mean no, I don't agree" Well, good thing, and bad.
OK, and in English, we were working in our groups again, and Jack Hamilton tried to write on my folder, again! And he keeps saying that I fancy Murray, and Kirsty played along, yeah, thanks very much, no help at all! And now, he's trying to figure out who else in the class knows who I really fancy. Well, he's going through all the girls, hah! In that case, he'll never get it, cause I jsut told him someone in the class knows. He thinks it's a girl, and it's not! Ray, which I didn't really tell, MILA did, and Guy, whom I hope has long forgotten, 'cause the last time he brought it up was at the beginning of 2nd year and I told him to shut up, and he hasn't mentioned it since. See, he sort of found out during English when we were working together, and he knows Lewie, and blah blah blah, but I told him that if he dares breathe a word about it to anyone, I will murder him. Hmmm....
So anyway, after school, I saw Lewie, and then after I went to Bell and got something I saw him again, then my dad phoned me, and seeing how I'm not very good at multi-tasking, I slowed down a bit to answer my phone, and then on the way down I was sort of walking along-side him, but yeah, I really don't think he wants to know me anymore. When I saw him earlier, he started saying hi, and I know this because he was right beside me, and looking at me, and started saying hi, well actually he says hey, but he started, almost finished the word, then stopped. Great. And then, after break when we had Physics his friend said "Hi Jenny" to me, hmm, I know it's just his friend but at least I'm not completely forgotten. That's a good thing, right?

Aw man!

Just great, you know what, I really really really really really hate Captain Obvious. OK, so in Maths, the period after break, we were playing whatever, sort of ratios with counters yeah, well we were playing that. We lost, like twice, and then we played against Captain Obvious and Kirsty, the other one. I think.... I don't really know that many people. Anyway, so when we were suppose to be packing up Kieran (however you spell his name, see my spelling sucks =]) well he said "Jenny do you go out with Liam" and Hannah, I think it is who sits beside him said "Really?" "No" "No she goes out with Murray" yes I really want to kill Connor. "Do you?" jeez, this is getting annoying, I am not freaking, I'm just saying it's seriously very very annoying. If something was true I probably wouldn't get so annoyed about it, but if it's not, I seriously get annoyed!
Anyway, Music, blah, then lunch and I was playing Chess against Qing Qing, I started off quite well! But then..... made a stupid desicion and lsot my Bishop, see why do I always make such stupid desicions! Damn it! So I lost. OK, skipping to the last period I in English, I signed up for this Ca- Ca- this Ca-thing which I can't remember the name of, for reading and stuff right, and yeah, we were also watching Van Helsing, but the disk was kaput, well not really, just not working well. And I was writing my poem, then we were going to read The Sweeper in A Writer's Cauldron because the disk wasn't working, but it was soooo boring so I just read my Interview with the Vampire instead. It's a good book! Ah yes, and I think I remember saying that Mila told Ray and then said she didn't when she did. Well, Ray is still trying to figure out who it is, he says he's going to go through all the guys in 4th year, and he has a feeling it's someone called Bob, or Bill, or Jim. Seriously, no where close! And he thought I was going to get on their bus, as in the Perth one. "Jenny" he said putting a hand onto my shoulder, "let me make one thing clear to you. You are never, ever getting on that bus, got it?" I think it was sort of funny. Kirsty said "She's my friend so she can when I invite her, you can't control her" "Well I can try" "No Ray, it's more likely that I'm gonig to be controling you". I think it was a nice conversation =]. Anyway, Kirsty told me that Mila said me and Molly have changed and it's like I'm a clone of Molly. But it's not true, she's the one who's changes, even Kirsty agrees. And even India said it wasn't a nice thing to say. And in the meantime, if Michael keeps jumping to his far off conclusions, I will kill him. Or set him up on a date with Mila, lol, I can imagine the looks on their faces right now.....
Anyway, I saw Lewie today after Geography... he just had PE... Don't ask how I know! Well actually, it's pretty simple to work out. See, he's in 4LI2 right, and I'm in 2LI2, and last year when I was in 1LI2 on Friday 1st thing we had PE with 4LI2 so it makes sense that now that he's in 4LI2 he has PE on that day. It does make sense! I believe he had English 2nd period. Anyway, then I saw him again after school, I saw his dad's car right (once agian I do not stalk him!) and so I guessed he wasn't there yet. And when I was crossing the road and looked back I saw him. Hmm.... while at the mean time Chaz was pointing at Murray on the bus that was passing. Hm. I dread the day I have to get on that bus, which I used to believe as never, but now I know I will be getting on that bus on the 5th of March. But on the bright side, I will be bringing an axe, or just using Molly's chainsaw and I will be able to saw Jamie in half. Hah hah!

My life is going down the drain

Hmmm..... nothing happened really, well in Maths my calculator didn't have the fractions button, and Mrs Oliver told me to check the instructions, oh man! I hate instructions, they're just this sheet of paper with words on it to tell you how to use something and then it turns out it wasn't very intructive at all! And in Chemistry, did I every mention that I sit between 2 boys? Marshall and Jack, and then Ronan sits right behind me. Well it is slightly boring, well sort of, I just have to sit there and nothing else to do, though it is quite fun to listen to their strange conversations and arguements, and I often add in pointless unhelpful comments, its quite fun actually, they don't seem to mind much. Oh yeah, did I mention that time when I was saying how it's sad that Pluto isn't a planet anymore because it's too small and I tried to explain to Jack that it's just like kicking you out of a group because you're small. He didn't seem to get it, though he did find it funny, and by the way this is Jack Houston, yes too many Jacks, and things get sooo confuzing! Well at break I saw Lewie and he was with a group of friends, as usual, and I'm still thinking I must be imagining it, but he became more still when I walked past, God, shut up Jenny and stop imagining things! Anyway, reading in the library, there's Liam, annoying, blah blah, blah.
Well then, back in Chemistry, we were doing this experiment with acid and different metals, and Jack just kept bringing the burning splint at the wrong time, so Marshall would put it out, and stupidly trid to put it out with his fingers once, burned himself. Yeah, then Jack wanted to light it again when it was soooo small, but Mrs Spinks wouldn't let him. Hmmm.... and then those two just being their usual selves, along with Ronan, boring! Oh yeah, yesterday in Graph. Comm. Ronan asked me, Erin and Emily if we thought he was bitter, I think, I just said yes and so did everyone else. Anyway, back to English, we were working together in a group, there were 5 groups and I was in group 5 with Kirsty and Jack. And this time it's Jack Hamilton. God this is sooo confuzing! Jack kept trying to write on my folder Murray loves Jenny, which is true apparently, no I do not freak! Well once he got it on, I couldn't rub it off, oh man! So I had to ruin my beautiful clean folder by scribbling it out, I'll have to find some way to make it look nice and artistic while covering it up. Oh yeah, and I want to kill Mila because she told Ray about Lewie, but just saying that it was a 4th year and I stalk him, which I do not do! But that's not the point, how dare she! A secret is suppose to be secret, that's why it's called a secret, hellooo??? Seriously, and then at Chess when I told her it wasn't a nice thing to do she pretended she knew nothing about it! While at the meantime I was losing to Kind, oh big surprise. Michael was being expescially unhelpful, getting me to make a move that ruined everything. Hm. Everyone hates him and I used to as well, but then he started talking to me and we get along now, and I think he's actually quite funny, then again, I laugh at everything, just about, so at least him being able to make me laugh is a good thing. Well King kept checking me with variouse pieces like rook, knight, bishop, so I jsut said "Stop checking me!" "While at the mean time I'll do some checking as well" Michael was looking at the conclusion King was writing for English or whatever it was, it sort of makes sense and it's sort of funny but not just sort of, oh it makes sense forgoodness sake! Ah yes, and Michael took it the wrong way when I told Mila it wasn't nice of her to tell Ray that, and Michael thought I fancied Ray, God there was a long and awkward conversation, and if he doesn't believe that fact that I do not fancy Ray I will murder him, and Mila at the same time. I think I'll set them up on a date with each other... hmmm.... Mila was being mean to Michael which isn't a nice thing, I just kept telling him to ignore Mila. Hmm.... in History me Neil, Callum and Archie, we were playing this game, where you know, you have to say the colour it is rather than the colour it says. I did quite well, but then stuttered after a long time, and the same happened to them, because you might be able to do it, but seriously, it gets very confuzing when you do it for a long time.
OK then, now going to when we were going down for the PE bus, this I'm sure I imagined it, but I know I didn't because I know this was real, but I doubt it was in the same way as before. I saw Lewie and we had eye contact and kept it for like 3 seconds, until I looked away. This is like the first time he's actually looked me in the eye for ages, yes I doubt it's the same as it used to be, he probably just saw me and I dunno, just... I don't know. And then, after games I got the bus back to school and I was with Rebecca, and then I saw Lewie comming that way. I sort of walked up to the pillars a bit and everything. I kept my head down looking at my phone, so I wouldn't know even if he did look at me or realize I was there. He was with one of his friends, why is he never alone? Someone is always with him, always. This sucks like so much. Well then, after that, I just, dunno. I seriously think he's trying to avoid me now, argh! Why did I do it? Right now I'm pulling at my hair and I wouldn't usually do that! It's just one of these times where you feel like you have to curl up into a ball to protect yourself against something, or hurt yourself enough to stop the pain inside of you. Trying to stop the pain inside of you....

Don't forget yesterday

Yes, I really need to keep my blog more up to date don't I? Yes I know I wrote some things yesterday but that meant it didn't give me time to write anything else, it's quite annoying because I'm not allowed on the computer that late. So lookes like I'll just have to try to remember what happened yesterday, though it's not that hard.
OK, I'm currently reading the book Interview with the Vampire, and I think it's very interesting! I've been reading it on the bus and everything. So then, what do I remember that's happened yesterday? Remember what I've said, my mind goes blank now a days. So, in the morning I was in the library trying to do my Chemistry homework that was for today. I saw Lewie in there, and all else was blank. Hmmm.... I'm really starting to think he's trying to avoid me, just not making it too obviouse. I've got evidence to back that up later, sort of, wishing I didn't though. So, in Geography we didn't have a teacher for the first half of the lesson, i.e. 20 minutes, while everyone was just screaming at each other across the room, I started reading the book again, feels like last year when I read books during class time, except now I don't really do it while the teacher is actually there. It's a good thing. Well in German we were suppose to have a vocab. test on parts of the body, but we had the other class there as well so we didn't. We're working on illnesses, if that makes sense, and in a way it was sort of funny just because it was so.... impossible in a way. These people were going on a camping trip I guess, and the radio broke, they had no food left, they were all sick and everything, and then one day it just says one of then is dead. Sammen ist tot. Lol, it's just the way it's written, I mean seriously, what's the possibility of you doing on a campiing trip, stuck there, running out of food and then dying? OK, then at break I was in the library and when the bell rang and I was going back to Graph. Comm. I did something really stupid. See, I ahve this thing that if the door is open I'd rather not type in the code, and the door was just closing so I grabbed it, but then slipped and scrapped my knee and hand. Yeah, it's still bloody and red. Hmm.... well then in PE we were playing basketball, and I'm actually quite happy with myself. First we had to shoot in all 4 hoops then go back into the middle, the 1st time I came 3rd but the 2nd time I came 1st, woohoo! Then when we were playing a game, you know how the basketball court is divided into 3? Well I was at the edge of the one near the middle and close to the hoops we were shooting in if that makes sense. I just randomly threw it and I actually got it in, without it hitting off the board! Woohooo!!! I won 3 points for my team! Though we still lost by 8 points. 14-6 :(. Oh yeah, and when we were on the bus I saw Lewie, hmmm.... really missing him. Anyway, at lunch time I think it was, or it might have been break afterall, Molly was picking out the things that happened in my dream right out of my head, without me saying anything! God, and if you really need to know what that dream was, just look back. That's like it, hmm..... I'm not even sure I needed to catch up on what happened yesterday. Oh well, going on to write about today, cya!

Friday 11th December 2009

OK, I know this isn't todays date but I'm just remembering that Friday, and I can still remember it so well, and I didn't have a blog at that time so I'm just thinking I should write this jsut in case I forget about it one day.
So, I was in the library doing my chemistry homework, this very confuzing problem solving one. I was at the table on my own, my back facing the bookshelves nearest to the door and I was sitting at the chair nearer to the left. I saw Lewie and his friends and they were all talking to other people at the table opposite, I kept looking up and then suddenly, I just saw him leading his friends around the back and came and sat beside me, his friends stayed standing, well there were only two of them. Well, he started talking to me, and his friend asked, "What's your name? Jenny? Jennifer?" "It's Jenny" I replied. "I told you it was Jenny" Lewie told him "You did not" I think it was funny, but still, I'm still wondering how he knew my name, I mean I never told him. I'm really thinking I should have asked at that time how he knew my name, but I couldn't, my heart was pounding so hard and my mind was sort of all fuzzy and I couldn't think straight. Well, he started talking to me about so many random things and then his friend (it's the same one as before, then again, it might just have been one of his friends with him) said "Are we distracting you from your work?" "No it's fine, it's for next week anyway" and it was. Then they started talking and laughing about things again, and I just kept my head down, 'cause I was scared to look up, sort of. And his friend started laughing "You're just staring at that page blankly" Well I sort of was, I just didn't think (or hoped) that it wasn't too noticable. So I just said I didn't know what I was doing, because itwas confuzing and it was hard trying to get my brain to concentrate at that time. And then, the bell rang, the bell had to ring, I was having a good time. Well I got up and Lewie smiled at me, but not actually saying goodbye, and I sort of went to find Molly and everything and *sigh*. It was such a good day, and now I've ruined it! Argh!

My dreams just get more and more annoying, though in a good way!

OK, well yesterday I had this dream, and no prizes for guessing what it was about right. Yes, Lewie, and that would probably be because I saw him quite a lot mof times yesterday. Well, it was at school right, and we were at the side between the Main Building and Margaret Harris, and I dunno, it just felt so.... Well he was hugging me right, and he kissed my forehead and touched my hair. He also touched my cheeks and he sort of held my hand, well not really, but sort of. Then we went for a walk together and he seemed really calm sort of, and I was too, except that inside my heart was thumping so furosciously (is that's how you spell it, seriously, words today are so complicate, German is muuuch easier) and it felt like my heart would burst out of my chest. Well anyway, the thing was, he was the same, yet there was something different about him, if you know what I mean. His eyes are suppose to be a nice sort of sky blue, not at day, not light, you know, deep blue yes not dark. Sort of like this colour, except much nicer, light and bright, but not dark, just deep. Well, instead it was closer to turqoise, a nice colour, you know jsut the same blue but with a tinge of green. So his eyes which are the colour of, well the night sky, was more like the rushing sea. It was nice, yet it wasn't him. It was Lewie, yet it wasn't. Well that about all I can remember and I'm feeling so, embarassed, seeing how I know the people who can read this blog, i.e. the one's I've invited. Yes I mean you Erin and Emily! Well you too Molly I guess but you sort of already knew so that's not going to do any harm, not really. Yes, strange thing was, she got this all out of my mind without me saying a word, and God, it was all right, apart from some. Creepy eh?
Anyway, so there was a second part of the dream. We were in Margaret Harris hall, and I think it was an exam, I'm not very sure, but Lewie was there, just sort of two seats away from me, but he was ignoring me. Yes I know it was an exam but even when we finished to go to break or whatever he still ignored me. It's like I didn't exist, it's like I wasn't there. He just packed his bags and went straight off. And I'm not sure, but this time, his eyes were the right colour. So you know, this was him. It's like in the first part it was the dream him, the one I see in my dreams, but this one, this one was the real him, the one I see in real life. No, he didn't use to ignore me, but now he sort of does, ever since that stupid note! It's all my bloody fault. The first one was the Lewie that had sort of died in my life, and this one was the one who still lived, the one who replaced him. I'm not sure, but I think he's actually trying to push me out of his life. I'm probably just imagining things, but it seems like when he sees me around he gets a different look on his face, and in his eyes, and he seems to act more, serious I guess, and less like that person he was. But when he doesn't notice I'm there, he seems to be more free and the same as before. When he doesn't see me, like today on the PE bus, he wouldn't have seen me. Hm, who am I kidding? It's probably jsut in my imagination, the same as the times before where I felt someone staring at me in the library, I look up and he's looking at me. Just in my stupid imagination. Well, I guess his reply for the note is no then, I suppose that's his answer, no. No no no no no no note note note note note, stupid note! Why did I do that? He was jsut beginning to talk to me properly, like an actual friend or something. We used to just make eye contact and smile, and occasionaly say hi, and then he starts actually having a conversation with me, and I go and ruin it. With a stupid bloody note! It's all my fault. Why did I have to do it? All I've done it hurt myself more, now he doesn't even seem to realize I exist, I would have been fine with him just talking to me in the library and sitting in that empty chair beside me. STUPID! Why did I have to do it? It's all my fault. Now I'm going to go and read all the happy times I've had before, maybe then I'll dream about it.

Goood...Baad

OK, first thing, I saw Lewie today like so many times that I've lost count. First in the morning, when we had PSE, I think he had Geography but I knew that ages ago, that's why I was.... well I saw him anyway. His hair has grown a lot, and now it's just flicking up at the end, I'm gonna shut up. OK, other time, I saw him quite a lot of times at break, first I saw him when we were outside Maths, I'll tell you why later, but OK, then I saw him outside the library sooo many times. *Sigh*..... anyway, then he had to go for something no idea what sort of outside school anyway, and then I saw him again, after school, I was behind him. No, I had to go that way to get my bus =]. So basically, yeah.
Anyway, Maths homework for tomorrow, I didn't know what to do, went to ask Mrs Oliver, guess what, she wasn't there, so I still don't know what to do. Hm... Oh yeah, bad. Would you say I freak easily? No I do not freak that easily! I do not! I didn't freak when Liam asked me out... I did not freak! Stop saying I did! I do not freak easily! At things like that anyway, if it was someone yes I mean you Molly, attempting to buzz me and such, then yes, I would sort of scream because it tickles! Duh! Good thing is now I ignore people much of the time when they tell me Murray wants to go out with me blah blah blah. Blah blah blah why does Michael still say hi to me? Anyway, nothing much really, like I said, I'm forgetting, I seriously can't remember. Hm.... I'm sure I've missed out something, but I can't remember what..... Oh yeah, on the bus I saw Elliot, this guy that used to go to my primary school, he goes to Harris now. Well, I finally got myself to say something to him, I don't usually say things to people, but I told myself, I know him, I can talk to him or be bored. So I did, he still remembers me good, 'cause I'd feel like such an idiot if he didn't and then I'd probably just start blabbing. Well, so we sort of talked about some things, and nothing much, didn't have time to talk about anything else, I quite like talking to him, makes me feel like I'm back at primary. =] So I hope he doesn't get annoyed when I say hi to him from now on when he comes on the bus. Lol, imagine he stopped getting the bus just to avoid me. That'd be quite funny, but seriously, I'm booored on the bus! So it'll be good to have someone to talk to. So on the bus, Zack was there, and I'm not even sure that's how you spell his name. Anyway, he went to the same primary school as me too, but they were off today, meh. Had a little chat with him, blah blah blah, I think he's an idiot, I know very random, ladi dadi da and nothing else. Oooohh! I'm reading Interview with the Vampire =]. Oh yeah, which reminds me, that Vampire Handbook I did, lots of people liked it, yay! And I did so much more than everyone else, I was panicking about only having done 28 pages. Well I don't need to panick now. Aaaaannnddd.... nothing else, apart from the fact that we watched a heart transplant in Biology, ugh. It was horrible, disgusting. Are we even allowed to watch that in class? I think I'm gonna throw up. Bleugh!

Happy Chinese New Year!

Happy Chinese New Year! And Valentine's Day I suppose. Yes, well I haven't been on much because I'm on the computer from morning till midnight doing this Vampire Handbook, so I didn't have time, but now I'm finished! So yes, check my other blog, I've wrote a crappy poem on Valentine's Day, I'm not even sure that's how you spell it! OK got some other poems as well, I think I might as well put them up as well. So, holiday, everyone is having fun, and I'm doing homework, though I do quite enjoy it! No I am not a geek, I just enjoy certain homework, I hate Geography. Which reminds me, I've also got German, Maths and Geography homework as well. Hm. Well nothing much really, unless you count this, terrible thing that I want to do. But can't. I've got Lewie's email, and I want to send him one, but I jsut can't do it. God I'm killing myself from the inside. Doesn't matter.

I'm so not having a good day

Well, I got into school this morning right, and as soon as I got there, and I do mean as soon as soon as in as soon I stepped into the building, I realized I had forgot to pack my things for today. So I had all my stuff from yesterday. But then, somehow, I was only missing my French things, wow. Yeah, so then after school we had PE right, so we got the bus and PE isn't actually at school. So, realized I had homework in my locker that i needed to do, and seeing how we didn't have school tomorrow, yeah. I had to rush and get back to school then try to get everything and back to the bus stop before quarter past, so I could catch my bus which allowed to catch my other bus. Yes, my life is complicated.
Anyway, other things that happened. In Chemistry we were working with acids and alkilis and Jack somehow managed to get it over his hands. Hmmm... yes by the way this is Jack Houston (or however you spell it) yes, too many Jack's aren't there? Want me to name all the ones I know? Jack Neilan, Jack Houston, Jack Cannon, Jack Hamilton, Jack Rogers, Jack Harris etc. etc. Seriously, too many. Anyway, other things. Yes, Molly had been "kind" enough to say that I'm going to go out with Liam Harvey this Saturday. Thank you very much Molly! Anyway, in English we were diong Dracula. And I really think I'm more confident now, I used to be so shy about things like drama, but when we were doing the Dracula playscript, I was Mina and I was really into it. As in, I didn't feel like me, if you know what I mean, I became the character. I feel so happy. =]
Skipping all the way to lunch time and at Chess. Well first, when I was going to Chess, Adam and Walter asked if they could hug me..... weird..... very weird people. Anyway, I was suppose to be playing a 3rd year, but he was playing Mark (God, finally know how annoying he is!) so I played against Michael, it was soooo fun. I was giggling like half of the time. See, I made a very stupid move near the beginning and lost my queen right. So I kept brining my queen back. He didn't really mind, well not really. "Hey how's that fair? Fine fine I won't complain" It was funny so I put his queen back on the board as well. And I just kept doing that, again and again, so at the end he said we've had several generations of queens during the game. You kill them and they respawn. Soooo funny. Yes sort of our conversation, well what we managed to have when I wasn't laughing my head off.
"That is just not fair. Ok ok, but I won't complain." Then I put his queen back on the board
"Oh right, that's good, that's really good" And then he got his queen back with the pawn and I didn't tell him an upside down Rook was a queen.
"What that's a queen? Well you could have told me that earlier"
Lol, soooo funny. Much funnier than this but it was hilarious I seriously couldn't stop laughing. =]
Anyway, in PE played basketball and we came 2nd, woohoo! Yet... I don't think I did much, I was scared to have the ball. Anyway, just about it. Oh yeah, Andrew told me again that Michael apparently fancies me, this is getting seriously annoying. Well.... Bye
Oh yeah, putting these things to the back of my head, but just so I have a record of it if I ever want to remember, I saw Lewie this morning before school.... Yes and after school when we were getting the bus back I was talking to Megan and when we got off the bus she just suddenly said "That guy sitting opposite us on the bus was actually quite hot" I didn't thinkg she'd come up with weird comments like that. Not at all.

SAVE MEEEEEEE.......

Doomed. Doomed doomed doomed. Well first thing, I didn't get a part in Tin Pan Ali, yet somehow the other people in my groupe did, how the heck does that work? I mean, I was the one who practiced the most, they just messed about, yet somehow Matthew, Corry and Alistair still managed to get a part. And Findley even got a part! How did Adam get a part? He didn't even know his lines. This is not fair, I was confident that I did my best, and this is like the 1st time I've thought that. I am never ever working with a group of boys ever again. Never ever ever.
Hmmm.... yes.... I'm guessing I got a Grade 2 for Maths, but maybe not, I'm hoping I've got a 1, our reports are comming home like this week or so, can't remember when. And yes, PE worst deal ever. We weren't allowed to sit upstairs and there weren't any seats left, apart from 2, and then Alison and Ranjini got to sit up stairs, they were the only ones, and I had to sit downstairs, not fair! The two empty seats, it was either with a group of boys and beside John or beside Murray. The Bus lady didn't let me choose, I had to sit beside Murray. Yes hold on, it gets worse. LizardFace took a picture and God you have no idea how my life sucks right now. Hmmm... lunch, no idea what we've done to upset Kirsty, but seriously, she needs to be more cheerful. Yeah, it was funny. See, me and Molly usually take Chloe's chips 'cause she doesn't finish them and throws them away. Well, I took one, and Dr Fotheringham came and I thought "Oh my God am I going to get into trouble?" But no. I loved being in his Biology class last year. See he just said "You don't throw good food like that away" and took some of her Chip's, so me and Molly were allowed to take them. Then later, he pretended to put pasta on Molly head. Lol, seriously, you should have seen me in Biology last year, I was sitting at the front and all I really did was giggle. Yessss.....
So, later on we were outside the Library with Erin, Emily, Barbara and such. Erin and Emily said they didn't like Jurray (me and Murray, they like putting names together) but they liked Jenny Squared (guees who? Me and John) and its got quite annoying. But at the same time not really, if that makes sense, but Barbara didn't get something and Molly just tickled me to death. Thanks very much Molly. And blah blah blah. End of school, apparently Murray does like me. Yes... slightly broed now and I can't remember a thing. Oh, writing a poem called Lycan but I think I've alrady said that and got another stary 'Keys to Hell' but I think I really need to change that. Nothing else really.

God I have an awful memory

Yeah, I seriously can barely remember a thing from today, I'll have to start scanning my memory. Ummm.... this morning got into school, yeah why the heck did Michael say hi to me, again? What's the point? Well then again lots of people say hi to me, yay! I'm not invisible! See, sometimes I can be very cute, and make people laugh, jsut by acting, well I don't really know, in a way innocent I suppose, I'm not really sure, but it only ever works on boys, I find that soooooo good =]. Like that time, I got some chocolate off of John =]. Ahhh yes, memory comming back. In Art we were doing this thing, you know how oil pastels are water resistant, well we drew something with oil pastels and then dyed all of it, so the paper bits were whatever colour =]. We had to crumple up our drawings =]. Then, accidentally bumped into John, which sort of made me realize how much taller he was than me, I didn't think he was that tall... Anyway, Callum got into trouble 'cause he came to sit beside me during Art, which I don't really get why you would get into trouble, but I think it's 'cause he was put on his own 'cause he talked too much. So mainly our conversation was just hi then bye. Lol. Ummm..... blah blah blah, in English we watched Van Helsing, but I just sat there copying out my poem. Hey, who said your not allowed to choose to work when you could be watching something? There's nothing worng with writing poems, during class, when you could be watching a film. OK Biology, we were doing this presentation, sort of reasurch on Pulmonary Heart Disease, and God did I feel frustrated. I did the reasurch, which was soooo boring, Jessica was doing the Poster and Callum (Strachan not Sinclair) the Power Point. And I had to do like everything, every few seconds there would be a problem with one of them. I didn't really mind the helping, it's just that Callum wouldn't listen to me. He's now saying I'm having a midlife crisis.... eh? Hmmmm..... Oh yeah, then after school Callum said hi to me at the same time I said hi to him (ummm..... this is Sinclair) God this is confuzing.
Anyway, back to what I was saying about me being able to sort of be cute and make the boys laugh (I love making people laugh, the problem is I never seem to know when to stop, and they get annoyed at me, and I don't really get it 'cause I don't know what I've done wrong. Howeever with the boys, they don't seem to really mind, which makes me happy 'cause I could just be a complete idiot and they'd find it funny) Well there were the times were I just say completely random and stupid things and they'd find it funny, well stupid, anyone would find that funny. It's just I occasionally just chip into a conversation they're having juring class, and say something that goes with what's happening, and it'd make them laugh. =] I do that like all the time and they never seem annoyed, which is like soooo good. Hmmm.... still thinking there's something strange with Liam, hmmm.... yeah he was saying he loved me again yesterday, but now I'm just learning to ignore it. I'm ignoring sooooo many things now. So like I said, people like saying hi to me, yay! I'm not invisible! Hurah!

Think I'm Over Him (Not)

Well guess what, on Saturday and Sunday night I've been having dreams about Lewie, and guess what? I saw him today, in the Library, for the first time in, what a month. I was sort of beginning to think, "I'm over him, I can act normal again" and things like that, but no. When I saw him my heart like, I dunno, if it could jump it would have went a mile. Not seeing him for so long seems to have made it worse, and my dreams don't exactly make it any better, seeing how he's there but I just can't see his face. And I couldn't remember the dreams at all, they sort of just faded and I couldn't remember a thing, well now I do. And then, when we left the Library, I sort of, brushed past him, like again, why do I keep doing that?! I know I've said that I'm trying to forget him, and I really am, but I just can't. I'm writing poems, the next thing is probably going to be songs, I'm going to have to keep myself away from sheets of paper when I'm near the Piano. Great, see, have you ever had this happen to you, where the more you try to avoid or forget something, the more it seems impossible that you can get it, the more you want it. More and more and more. THIS ISN'T BLOODY FAIR! I just can't forget him...
Anyway, onto the other things that happened today. Rogers is back (damn him) and he had no idea how to calculate the circumference or the area of a circle, so I sort of had to help him. Well OK, no I didn't not have to help him, but I did, 'cause although I don't seem like it, I can be quite nice and helpful. The only people I like annoying are the ones that really really annoy me. Like Ray! I hit him, accidentally, in the eye, then I hit him over the head with my History folder (on purpouse obviously) then after school, hit him and he slammed into the wall. It was quite good, everyone gave me a high five =]. And in History, well, the boys played a joke and they tried to lock our teacher outside, buuuuut they got into trouble. I'm not going to name who, no I was not one of them, do I really seem like someone who'd do that? Well yes maybe, but not on a teacher no way, and I don't like locking doors, I'm scared a monster will be in there with me too. Yes, a bit childish but hey, it's me.
Skipping aaaalll the way to Tin Pan Ali we've seen the last couple of auditions and were going to see the casts list on Monday I think, next week, or maybe even this Wednesday. Bet I didn't get a good part, bet I didn't even get a part, I could just be in the Courus, of course, nothing wrong with that, but I actually want a part. I think it'd be fun and I want to prove I can actually do something with my life, seeing how my parents think I can't do anything useful with my goddamned life. I'm hoping I can, and I'm thinking I can, I can't be bad at everything, can I? Anyway blah blah blah nothing else interesting appart form the fact that Molly has been banned from the Conputer for a week and she's blamming me for it. I mean I wasn't even there! How can she blame me. Yes I can blame her for messing up my dream because she sort of did. She was in it and she messed it up. Seeing how we're Py-Sister (because we can sort of read each other's mind, no not making it up here) and she appeared in my dream I can sort of blame her, I mean, who knows? She might have sued her powers to enter my dream, and totally mess it up. Basically, she buzzed me, made me scream right infront of Lewie, and made it look like I screamed 'cause I saw him. Thanks a lot Molly, you even mess up my dreams. Sort of.... Anyway, yeah, soooo bored right now because I have to go read Chinese in a couple of minutes so I'm typing super fast right now, seriously I should do a test and see how many word I can type in a minute, that's be cool. I'm just typing away and I wasn't even looking at the keyboard some time ago when my mum came into the room, I didn't want her to see what I was writing so I was keeping an eye on her while typing, how cool is that? I just love typing and I'm typing really really really fast right now, I'm not even following the system, you know, where you use some fingers to type some letters and not others. I hate using my pinky, so I never really use them unless I'm pressing the shift button which I do all the time for capital letters. God I'm about to do it right now just for the beginning of a word. Ok I'm just blabbing on randomly like I usually do, you see I do that when I'm sooo bored and I've got nothing to do, I blab on randomly and occasionally repeat myself. Am I repeating myself right now? I'm not sure. But I just watched Doctor Who, the 1st ever episode with Donna. I like Donna =] she's funny in a not really funny but funny way. Hmmm.... usually that'd make sens eto me but not to anyone else but right now it's not even making sense to me. I need to stop typing. Bye!

Totally Creeped Out

Hmmmm..... where do I start? Jeez, I don't know, maybe from school. Yessss.... remember what I said about Liam Harvey like saying hi to me all the time? Well now I'm oficially creeped out. I'm sure he was just joking, but still, really creeped out, if he was not, then waaaaayyyy more creeped out. OK, well after Music aka at lunch I was going to say hiya to Kirsty, Liam walked past and said hi to me, so I just absentmindedly said hi back, then he said "I love you" and I was about to say hi to Kirsty, 'cause she was right behind him, but instead, it was a "What!?" and it was more of a hiss than anything else. Blah Blah Blah, yeah, after we had our lunch Molly had to buzz me. (Thanks very much Molly!) So I screamed. Blah blah. Then me and Molly went to explore the underground tunnels, buuuuut apparently there's a ghost hauting it so we didn't go in. Blah blah, Molly found out someone's name was Michael, no not that one. Liam walked past me again and this time he said "I want you" Yeah, you can see why I'm totally creeped out. Hold on, there more. After school, I got onto the bus that I didn't get on anymore but I got onto it 'cause I needed to get on it today (yes it does make sense) and see, every morning I get another bus and there are people at a stop that the bus passes blah blah blah it's hard to explain. Anyway, they got onto the bus, and asked me if I was that girl that's on that bus every morning, I said yes, they asked me what school I went to blah blah. Soo.... one of the boys came and sat beside me, and when I got off the bus he sat in my seat. Yeah, there are more details but right now I'm creeped out and I'd rather not put it into writing. Yeah.... gonna avoid getting that bus at that time. Yeeessss, very creeped out if you see what I mean. The people who don't find this creepy, is there something wrong with you? Yes.... so if we think about it in a way that everyone is saying to be real and some other things, you know, lets just say what I'm thinking right now is real. Then which people would it be? Murray (don't really think so), Michael (God well hope not), Andrew (sure he still likes Karyn), Liam (isn't it obviouse? Do I really need to say?) and this guy I don't even know (I serisouly don't think he'd be one). Yes just going through the possibilities, if it was all true, God I'd completely freak out! So I'm hoping none of them are true, none at all.

3's suppose to be a lucky number, right?

Yeah, I don't really know why but people think 3's suppose to be a lucky number, but, would you count this as lucky? Today, in total, I've found out that apparetly 3 guys from my year fancies me. Murray, everyone says that, Michael, Andrew Kelly said so, and according to Molly, Andrew likes me too. I mean seriously, what are the chances that this is true? I dunno. Everyone used to say Angus liked me as well, this is getting like seriously annoying. I don't know about Murray but I'm sure Michael fancies Barbara, or at least that's what I heard. And the last time I checked, Andrew liked Karyn. I don't know what I should believe, I'm not sure if I believe what Molly says. That's the problem, when someone lies to you so much, you begin to stop believing what they say, because there's a huge possibility that they're lying, again. Well back to that, I'm not sure if them likeing me it good or bad, and I have been screaming my head off all break since I found out. Screaming like I'm doing it right now. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! There, but seriously, I don't think they really like me. And besides, if they did, it doesn't really matter, 'cause I don't like them back, my heart belongs to someone else, someone who doesn't like me back the way I like him...
So anyway, today in the morning Robert (not my brother) wanted to give me a high five, missed =]. Blah blah blah, French, meh, Maths Chemistry English History Games. Well altogether nothing interesting, but in PE we were playing basketball, I wasn't really any help, all I really did was trip over people. Buuuuut, after that when I was waiting for the bus I saw Beth and whatever on the bus, yeah blah blah blah. OK, nothing interesting, whatever, bye.

Aaaaaaand aaagggggaaaaiiiiinnnn

Well, this morning, got in, talking to Chloe, Molly and Kirsty on the pillars. I get this strange feeling and turned around, and Lewie was walking past, sort of along the pillars, and I just kept watching him till he disappeared round the corner. It's the first time I've seen him in, well a week. But it feels like it has been a long long time. See, remember how I said yesterday that Ray was calling me names? Well he called out my name just as Lewie walked pass him and I thought "OMG does he know?" then, oh right, no, just panicking, being paranoid. But the strange thing is, even when I don't know it, I always get this feeling that Lewie's near when he is, I just get that feeling, I've always had that feeling when Lewie's near. According to Molly, I've got Lewiedar, meh. If that makes sense to you. Well, yeah, really missing him, buuuut I know he had a Biology test this morning, I think =]. Blah blah blah to the rest if the day, sort of. Lunch time there was the Tin pan Ali Audition, I did terrible, and Corry kept wanting to add last minute things, god, and Wiggans, I mean Matthew wasn't even there. Then, well Mrs Vannet went all mental at the 1st years in the morning (I think it was the morning) and I was there, so I just, slipped, out the door and she didn't see me. Apparently she's getting all the 2nd years that go to get their bags from the F1 locker room into trouble, but I got past un noticed again, yay! Skipping all the way to after school. Here comes the and again, aaaaannnd again. Well, Molly was getting her PE bag and I was waiting for her outside her bus, first, before that, Ray came off his bus so I asked Kirsty to kill him 'cause he was annoying me again, oh yeah, gotta ask her if she's done that. Nope, she hasn't, and Molly hasn't killed Jamie Clark either. (Ummm... people, you do realize this isn't really killing don't you? Just, sort of, you know) Well, first whatshisname told me Angus fancied me, and now he's telling me Murray fancies me, no they're telling me. Well, I was waiting for Molly and their just saying, "Look, Jenny waiting outside for you" No I'm Not Going Out With Him On Saturday, thank you very much MOLLY! And I was trying to ignore them, and their going on about Valentine's Day, great. Hmmm.... nothing to say, nothing to do, just wishing Kirsty's dreams were true.

Aaaaaaand again

Well, I can barely remember what happened today, though to be honest, I can barely remember what's happened since... well beginning of this term. So.... if I remember right, damn this stupid memories are fading, and they only happened like 10 hours ago, or so. Well, for PSE we were in the Library, Careers section, and I was just flicking through this huuuuuuuge book, it started off quite interesting, Chemist, Astronemer (oh damn, they were in my head just a few seconds ago) etc. Theeeen, I thought of just going through the whole thing, and I saw every page all the way to half way through the book and nothing interesting, I was just sitting there and flicking through the book (and trust me, it is an enormous book, imagining carrying that home!) and I got used to it and began flicking quicker and quicker, and surprisingly i could keep up with it, I could see what each page was about =]. Well then, RE and I was sooooo surprised, I thought I did rubbish at it, but, stamp on every single page, woohooo! And they were quite nice =] dogs were qute, so were the bees =]. Aaaaanyway, in Art, found out I got 2, 2, 2 so overall Grade was 2. Yeah, I did sooooo much better last year, in a way, last year I got 1 and 3, which meant the overall Grade was 2 as well, I suck at Art. Tin Pan Ali, went on quite well but at lunchtime they wouldn't rehearse. English, Close Reading, meh. But it was fun a lunch time, oh yeah, Erin and Emily sort of found out about Molly going out with Jack, so she was killing me, and I screamed a lot =]. Anyway, lunch time, Ray was really annoying us, so basically, we just kept sort of backing him up against the wall, and you know, sort of threatening, and he kept running. I kept adding comments like "Let's see how long you can keep running" 'cause we weren't and he was, so he'd get tired and me wouldn't, and "Awwww, look at you, scared of a girl" it was hilarious. Ummm..... no, we were just teasing him, we weren't going to hurt him. Though he did get soooooo, well said something, so I tried to slap him across the face, sort of missed yet didn't, if that makes any sense. Ummm.... then in English, when we were waiting to get out of the class, i kept clicking my fingers infront of his face, then he did it to me as the bell rang, and Mrs Keogh said "Ray, what are you doing?" And then later he ran out after me and shouted "You were the one doing it and you got me into trouble!" Lol, well he didn't really get into trouble, but it was soooo funny. Ummm... in Biology we were testing to try to find out if different activities affect your heart rate, I was trying to write my poem while jogging didn't work well =]. I think Marshall did something wrong, he got 47 beats per minute while he was resting, I mean, how the heck did he get that? 47? Did he half it or something? And Ronan just had to anounce to the class that he had finished, seriously, that was annoying. Oh yeah, remembered, this morning in regi. we sort of hid Chaz's mini football, and he still doesn't know I helped, 'cause I didn't really hide it, I jsut helped. But after school, God. Well, I was talking with Molly, and I am not sure if I have said this before, I think I might have, but they keep saying that Murray fancies me. I mean, what the f***, and Molly was no help at all! She kept shouting "helpful" comments! Like, "Yeah, Jenny says this Saturday will be fine!" Molly, I am going to murder you! Besides, I thought they'd finally given up on that! They hadn't said anything since the Christmas Dance, thank God, but now, they've suddenly gone back to it. I'm guessing it's because of Valentine's Day oh God. Please tell me they didn't. Last time at Christmas they sent me a candy-cane and pretended it was from Murray, please tell me they have not, they better not have. See, we've got this Valentine Love Board or whatever up in the Enlish department and you can put notes up there to people. Please tell me they are not thinking of doing that. I will make their lives a living nightmare if they do. They will be comming to hell rather than school. You know, I could always ask Molly to do that, she can bring hell up here rather than be stuck down there waiting for some company. Long story. Buuuuttt, yes, they would be dead if they did that. Ummm..... speaking of that, found out Ray fancies Lucy and I've been thinking of, but no. 'Cause that would just be.... well.... I'm not very sure anymore. Haven't seen him in ages, aka a week but feels like it's been something like 7 years! Great, I am just going to shut up now.