Wishful Thinking

OK, I hate wishful thinking. Maybe that doesn't really makes sense, wishes are something you like, but I sort of wish these to be true but I believe that there is no way they could be and it's just so annoying I hate it. OK, let me start on why I'm talking about this, but first, did you know that I found out where Lewie's regi class was? That was a complete accident, I swear! It was last Thursday and we were sitting in French and he came in and said "Sorry, left my bag during regi" ask Emily, she'll tell you! Right? So there, accident!
Anyway so today I went to the Library at lunch time and missed Chess because I had a lot of stuff to do, i.e. overdue Chemistry homework and The Listeners Critical Essay for tomorrow. Well I walked in and I had barely passed through the door when Lewie looked me in the eye, smiled and nodded like he always used to do. Well it was more like on of those, like instead of nodding it's more like your head going up, so a bit like the opposite of nodding but not shaking. OK that makes no sense, but it's sort of what he does to register the fact the he knows you're there. Well I don't know, he does that to me anyway. So, that sort of nod, looked me in the eye and smiled. Just like he did ages ago, it was like nothing ever happened, because he wasn't ignoring, he registered the fact that I was there and showed it. Bad thing was, I blushed and looked at the ground, so I went and sat at the table. Strange thing that on Thursday lunch time there's barely anyone in the Library, I think too many things happen on Thursday, like Training Band and Chess etc. So anyway, went to sit at the table, and I overheard (yes overheard! I was not eavesdropping!) his friends saying something about me, the problem was, they were being too quiet, damnit. (No, still overheard, not eavesdropping!) And they got up and went to the section with the Religion books and whatever. Great.
So the thing I've been thinking for ages is, why is it he notices me when his friends aren't around and shows it, but when he's with his friends it's like I don't exist? I seriously don't get it. That's what it feels like, because that's how it's been for ages. I'd love to think it's because his friends think that it's better for him to forget me, ignore me, whatever, for some odd reason or other. I don't know! Remember, wishful thinking and I hate it! I know these things could never be true, but that's how it seems, just, I must be imagining things. I must be...