Oh God I can't believe I did that

OK then, I really really can't believe I did that. So, I came out of the Overgate and I was going to go get my bus, though I didn't really see the point of getting it that early, but then I saw John waiting for his bus, and I don't know why I did it, but 1st I waved at him and he mouthed hi, and then, I just went over there and sort of started talking to him. Sort of. Then it was just like this awkward silence, and he started looking in his homework diary and I sort of just stood there then felt stupid and put my stuff into my bag, I took some time doing that. I also had the feeling that he probably thought I was waiting for a bus, and I was so right. Anyway, I felt a bit uneasy, and I just said, "So... have you got your mum a Mothers' Day Present?" "Umm... yeah, it's at home" I began to say "Yeah, I sort of forgot, so..." then trailed off with this nervouse giggle. Then there was silence until he went "The bus is late! Oh no, it's not" He was on his phone see, and it was 15 minutes fast, and when he looked at the display screen it wasn't even 4 yet. Then the sort of clock on the Church rang, and I said "Well now it's 4, you probably should change the time on your phone". Then came the silence again, until I was like, "So... on Wednesday in Techy, did you actually jsut sit there and let Heather do everything?" Apparently he did, his reply was, "Yeah, it's just working with Heather... Doesn't work" And then I asked if he just let Andrew do all the work usually and then copy, well he does sometimes. And then it was just into the conversation on how annoying Heather was, and I said that I had to work with her last year in Techy, and she wouldn't actually let me do anyway. "Ooohh, I was with Akdas" We finally managed to have a conversation! Hold on, why am I so happy? Anyway, then it was how annoying it was that Heather always seemed to expect people to feel sorry for her and how she expects me to no her timetable, which in a way I do, I know everybody's, cause it's not that hard to work out. That's what I told John anyway, at least it was true. I told him about the time where Heather got a text from her mum and suddenly she was like "Oww, my eyes!" or that's what I heard anyway, it was funny. "She's probably going to be kicked out next year. She's already missed like 100 days of school" Well it was true. I said, "Yay, that'll be good for all of us. I mean, besides, she never comes to school anyway, she misses everything. Like the HPV Vaccines (I hope that's what they are, because that's what I said) and all her tests, she was suppose to do her Music test today," John totally agreed with me.
Well then, then came the stupid part, I asked him if he was waiting for his bus. How stupid is that? We're at a bus stop, and I ask him if he's waiting for a bus, that is just so stupid of me! I think I was sort of panicking a little. So after he said yes I quickly tried to cover it up by asking "Which bus are you getting?" He was getting 78C. "Does it only come like once every hour or something?" "Yeah, though I think it might be once every two hours, the bus to Monikie only comes like 4 times a day." Wow, that is a long time! "Ahh, so if you missed this one, you'd be here for like the rest of the day" So, then came the part I was sort of dreading. "Are you waiting for the 39?" I gave the most stupid answer yet, "No, I'm just bored and standing here talking to you, because my bus doesn't come for a long time, only once an hour. See, it used to come into Dundee but then they said Angus wasn't part of Dundee and it wouldn't be allowed back into Dundee, so I sort of have to get two buses. One to Tesco or Ninewells Hospital and then from there home." When I finished I realized and thought Oh shit, I should so not have said that. I really should have lied and said I was waiting for the 39, he would probably have thought me weird or something along those lines, but I didn't feel like lying, that thought didn't even come into my head, oh God. Then his bus came and I sort of spluttered, "See you on Monday, have a nice Weekend, Bye!" And turned and walked away, God, I can't believe I did that, think I panicked, and it just came out like that! The last thing I saw was him smiling at me and the I sort of just dissapeared around the corner. And the worst thing is, I never actually say "Have a nice weekend" to anyone, never! Maybe occasionally when I'm in a good mood, but otherwise, never! Oh God.
Great, and the thing is, I was actually quite upset in a way and annoyed at myself because lately I seemed to be failing in everything I did, but when I started talking to John, all that faded and I was feeling so happy. Ah just great, just great isn't it? The other thing is, when I left I kept looking at the bus he was on, because it was still there. I began to feel sad. Oh my God. And the thing is, then I started blabbing it to Emily, and yes Emily! Now you've got the full story without that bad sound of when I was on the bus! Ah jeez. Right now, I hate my life, and my feelings.