Ever thought of what might have happened?

Well.... today, going through that.... time of the month...... if you don't get it it doesn't matter. But I've always been on a full moon and my emotions sort of get... well.... magified I suppose, everything I feel gets much stronger. And every day it's so different, and today, just feeling really sad and depressed and going through all the negative emotions. I've blab on more but I'm stopping myself, cause all of it is on my blog, the one with poems, even though when it ends it doesn't actually have anything to do with poems at all. Well you know, just feeling everything much more strongly than usual, and thinking of things. Like, things that might have happened if I chose another path, did somthing else, you know. A bit like in Doctor Who, you know, Turn Left when Donna if made to turn right in her past, and just one small choice changed the entire future. You know, just been thinking of all of that.
Like, what would have happened if my mum never made me go to a private school away from all my friends? What would have happened? For one, I would never have met Molly, Chloe, Kirsty, or any of the friends I have right now. I probably wouldn't ever have started this blog or anything else and there would be so many things I would never have done. So many people I would never have met or known to exist, I would never have met any of my friends, Molly, and, I wouldn't have ever met Lewie. If I went to the same school as all my friends, I wouldn't have met him and all the things. There are so many things that just wouldn't have happened. And if I didn't go there, who would have been the person Lewie wanted to give a high five to on the 1st day, and all the other times that followed, would he have even done that to anybody? I probably wouldn't even have gotten the Girls Chess Trophy and I wouldn't be in Tin Pan Ali and so many other things I would never have done, thing that would never have happened. The stories I've written, they're all based on the dreams I had, which were all set at the school, so I would probably never have had those dreams, and never written those stories. And the poems, who would I have written about? The ones I write, for Lewie, I would never have done them. Don't you sometimes just think that it seems so, amazing, I suppose, that one tiny desicion could effect the whole future. Like, if I never gave that note to Lewie, he might still be talking to me as a friend, and things like that. When I think of that, I just can't bare it. Even though sometimes I wish I could change the past, and if I could, I'd probably be too scared to do it, because I'd be afraid of what might happen, because it could change the whole future. Sometimes, I do think it'd be better that everything stays as it is, no matter what you could do to change it, what has happened has happened, and there's nothing you can do about it. I've learnt that now, I used to wish I could change so many things I'd done, but not anymore.