So over him (the other him!)

You can find out about that later. But first, I have lost my creative flare, I can no longer write poems or stories, or at least I can't be bothered. I can do it when I get into the right pace, so then I'm on a roll! But now I seriously can't be bothered. *Sighs* I can't really be bothered to do anything creative anymore.
Anyway, so today my bag was soooo heavy, I have no idea why. And I have been banned from taking any English books to Chinese school, no fair! I can't read what I want at break, though this seems strangely familiar... In Geography we were watching something about.... something. Then in German we were on the computers and on Linguascope, and the same for French, soooo boring! Oh yeah, in Maths I sat beside Molly and then we got into trouble after break :(. I blame Molly, she drew a line with pen through my jotter, my nice clean maths jotter! So I drew one on hers, but it cut through, but that's better than it being visible, and then we got into trouble. Molly, it's still your fault! I don't know, I hate life, what is it with me? I used to be great in class, i.e. homework in on time, causeing no trouble, etc. But now, I keep forgetting my homework, I do rubbish on my exams and I get into trouble, and many times they weren't even my fault! I've changed so much since Christmas, ask anyone, I'm sure they'll agree. *Sighs* so much for keeping up a good reputation with the teachers and being a good little girl in class. Ugh, I curse this! And I'll tell you who would really agree that I've changed since Christmas, just ask Callum Strachan! I'm even cheeky in class now, and I act like a complete idiot! I didn't even remember which way verticle was. And I critisize everything that doesn't seem that good, everything has something that could be improved, nothing pleases me anymore! What's happening to me?!
After Maths I saw Lewie, and he ignored me, as usual. I hate him! But I don't. I hate him yet I love him! This is not fair! I hate him for ignoring me but I can't help loving him at the same time. It's not fair, he really interests me, everything he does, it sort of fascinates me! I even remember turning my head slighty when he did something, I just can't help it! Right now I hate the world!
On a happier note, Mr Love said I played the Xylophone really well, which was a good thing. But with every good must come a bad. I lost 8 marks on the music listening test, 26/34 and that was 76%, and we needed 85% to get a 1!
Oh yeah, so what I was talking about. I realized I don't even like John, or maybe I don't like him anymore. He was off today and I didn't give a damn. He just used to make me feel better, make me forget, but now I feel I don't need him anymore. I don't care about him anymore, I don't feel anything for him when he's in, I don't feel anything when he's off, and I definitely don't think about him when I don't see him. Yet for Lewie, I do feel these things, like all the time. So yeah, back to only him, again. I wish I could forget about him as well, but no, because like I said, he sort of fascinates me. This sucks. My whole life sucks. And now, I am going to have a nice (attemptful) cheerful chat with Molly about whatever.